When I visited the Bahamas recently, a local beach vender tried to sell my wife and me raw conch. His sales pitch was that consuming it is a proven aphrodisiac, or a stimulant for sexual desire. Claims like this exist in many cultures, whether it’s oysters, red wine, cologne or a full moon, men especially search for a magic potion to arouse their woman’s desire.Fortunately, the most affective aphrodisiacs are included in a man at birth. He just has to discover, mature and apply them as he ages. And, these have little to do with the car he drives and how many pull-ups and sit-ups he can do.
Let’s get started:
1) Humility: When you admit you’re wrong and apologize, it becomes steadily irresistible to your wife. Add to that a lack of defensiveness. If your wife enters the scene upset about something you did and you hear her out instead of escalate into anger and denial, her coldness gets increasingly warm. Once she has made her case, tell her thank you for pointing out ways you can improve and invite more feedback. Don’t be false or patronizing, because that’s well, a lie; but, own what you can, clarify what’s needed and apologize with an intent to learn.Sure, the macho scene will say you’re being soft or spineless, but those are the same guys telling you to get your wife drunk on shell fish and Merlot to get her in bed. And, if you interview a woman that feels unheard and chronically put down, she will have to go pretty far back to remember when her husband was sexually irresistible to her.
2) Helpfulness: For every pound of work and pressure you take off your wife’s shoulders, it gets replaced with desire for you. Your wife is a woman that carries a trillion things in her heart, mind and arms that she never wants you to know about, because her nature is to serve everyone around her. In some cultures, if the women stopped working, everyone would starve. That’s not America, but the fact is women carry a lot, and they’re easily taken for granted. So, when you recognize and lift some of her load, it’s like giving her heart and soul a full body massage (and a literal massage helps, too).
Simply, a more relaxed and stressless women, is a more turned on woman. And, the man she sees as her load carrier(not load maker) will awaken the fire inside her.
There are several more, but I’ll conclude with this one. And, it is last for a reason, because the first two must be applied with it:
3) Confidence: When a man is secure in himself, it projects safety and strength to a woman. Yet, confidence is often misunderstood and poorly applied by men.
For example, confidence is NOT cockiness or arrogance. The woman drawn to this false-confidence is still 13-years old in her mental maturity. Grown up girls are repulsed by fake assurance (bragging, strutting and dominance claims), because female humans are not female wolves. Pick-up-artist tricks are sleazy and cheesy to your wife, unless she is being intentionally playful, which presumes this is not the real you. Basically, what applies in a wolf pack doesn’t apply in a family. If you have to puff your chest or claim you’re the leader, then the opposite is happening in her mind. She decodes this as insecurity and selfishness. Big turn off.
Confidence is NOT a lack of fear nor to be all-knowing, because no man is either. Instead confidence is to know, grow and live out your core values, which means you’ve developed core values over time. A wife is magnitized to her husband when he has direction for himself, his family, work, future hopes and dreams, etc., and he casts this vision both subtly and outwardly in most decisions he makes.
So, when you talk out, pray about and include your wife in the big picture of a shared and hopeful future, she is unconsciously aroused. She is able to see past the maintenance of family life and work to visualize a bigger purpose for it all. To her, you are the landscape painter that frames beautiful masterpieces in her imagination. Your confidence begins to strengthen her confidence. Ultimately, as a natural responder, she unlocks and opens up all the doors to her sexuality. She trust herself in your arms and much more, of course.
So humility, helpfulness and confidence are natural born aphrodisiacs equipped inside all men to apply to a woman’s vulnerable fire, and they are proven to be the most powerful sexual stimulants.
By the way, I bought the conch and it was pretty amazing.