Just my outsider theory, but I believe something extraordinary wakes up inside some women in their 30’s that will reshape the rest of their life and especially their marriage. Note: This is just my very, very unscientific–and recklessly unprofessional–male observation as I study my wife in her early 30’s, so humor me for a second.

I met my wife when we were teenagers; typical American story, neither of us had a clue who we were, but started to figure it out together through high school and college. She married me when she was 20-years-old, the week after college graduation, and she gave us a daughter two years later. By 28, she was a stay-at-home mother of three, small business owner and entrepreneur, volunteered 40-hours a week at our church and kid’s school, and an advocate and counselor for hurting people, while still finding the passion to be a wife beyond my dreams. I could go on, but my point is she was Wonder Woman in her 20’s, trade out the invisible jet for a minivan. You don’t have to say it, because I clearly know, despite the flaws I don’t mention here, I married way, way out of my league.

So, at this point, some of you might be pondering: If all that is true about your wife, Jon, then what on Earth does she need with you…besides that whole “conception” thing, of course?

Well, that’s just it. By the time these kind of women reach their 30’s they’ve realized something about us men and themselves. What? First, they’ve figured out we men are profoundly flawed and can never live up to their girlhood “shining armor” illusions–Tom Hanks isn’t even Tom Hanks, if you know what I mean. And, second, they understand, in many ways, they are exponentially smarter than us. Sorry guys, just gotta’ keep it real.

But that’s when everything changes for them it seems. She figures out that God didn’t put a man in her life to make all her dreams come true, but instead, God put her in this man’s life to help him realize a dream for them to share. Yes, she willfully chooses to be led and guided by a man in process, one who sometimes charges them into minefields and swamps, and, all the while, she hopes and believes the greatest is yet to emerge from him.

Bottom line: Personally, like many husbands, I believe my wife could be the Governor of Alaska and Texas, and moonlight as the Speaker of the House, but, instead, she chooses to be my wife, ultimate teammate and number-one fan.

So guys, if I am describing your wife, no matter where she is on the timeline, right now, do or say something extraordinary to let her know how amazing she truly is.