Parents often wonder how they can impact their children early on. What are ways we can forge our child’s character and impart virtue into his or her life for the long haul?

Many well-meaning parents try to cram months, or even years, of teaching moments into one guilt-driven seminar. And these lectures are usually sparked by a crisis or defining moment in the child or teenager’s life. Picture the dad talking sexual intimacy and self-control with his son the day before his wedding. Thanks, Dad, this would have been incredible 10-years ago, before I made a ton of unwise sexual choices already.

To try and heap timeless principles and character development onto a child all at once, during a crisis or, worse, through a third-party (i.e. church leader or coach) is pretty close to futile. Can you say too little, too late?

So, here is one practice Tammy and I have adopted from a couple we know and respect. What is it? We call it “disciple night.” One night a week during the school year, my wife and I rotate to take one of our children out for desert. Week one my daughter and I go out, and week two my son and his mother do the same. The rotation interchanges each week from there.

The one hour spent with them is simple, but gives back lifelong reward. We laugh and eat at some coffee shop or restaurant, but more importantly we talk Jesus and character. How does Christ’s life and leadership translate from elementary school to adult life?

To drip virtue into my kid’s hearts over time, instead of dump-trucking it in one day, has proven to be much more inspiring to them. In fact, towards the end of a high octane summer–camps, cousins and vacations–my seven-year-old son said to me, “Dad, when are we cranking up disciple night again. I’m ready for some us time.”

Give it a try and see what happens.